Sorry it's been awhile since my last post. I know that I promised you a blog about All things Bipolar and that I was going to focus on the 4 key elements that each person/parent/diagnosed person should know. In an earlier blog, I said I would focus on parenting and school since I was in no way shape or form on expert on the subject to provide any type of profound insight on the disorder itself. Jake has it, we don't know why. We treat it with med's and hope we find some that work. That's about all I got. I can go through our med's checklist and tell you what did and didn't work for him but that's not going to help much either since med's never work the same way for kids or even adults. My parenting advice will also be one sided as I am a single mother who has to work 40 hours a week to support her child and keep the medical insurance necessary to treat him. I cannot stay home with him in the summer or after school and when things get too hard for me to handle, I can't walk away and tell the other parent, "It's your turn!" But I will share stories, experiences and any information that I am able to find on the subject. I will share my resources and ask for you to do the same.
First a small recap of how things have been at school and Casa De Wilkerson. We have had a string of good weeks at home with NO outbursts, violent behavior or destruction. He has been pleasant and helpful. We are still working on getting a good bedtime and wake up time down for the school routine but that is also getting MUCH better. He is a lot easier to get up in the mornings now and it not so grumpy about it. For awhile it was hard to keep him up till 7 pm because he was so tired from his day. Now, we are getting to sleep between 8:30-9 and still doing well with getting up in the morning. School has been going well also. His weekly progress reports have continued to improve. He went from a 68% his first week to an 88% for week 2 and a 93% for week 3!!! His teachers all have positive things to say about him and he is even starting to make friends. He is playing with them and sitting with them at lunch! One of the biggest changes between his old and new school is the way his ED program s were structured. In the old school he was in an ED room all day and went out for 2-3 classes and specials. On bad days he was in there all day. At the new school, he is in regular classes all day and only has to go to the Ed room when necessary. His grades are good too.
However as I am typing this telling you all how good he has been doing, I get the call from school, saying I need to go pick him up because he was having a rough day. I will write more later.
OK so we are home now and he is in a calm down period trying to pull himself back together. He was off to a good start this morning and it went downhill from there apparently because of not wanting to do some work. It escalated and got worse throughout the day and he is going to have ISS for the next 2 days. He seems to be coming out of it and is not displaying the violent behaviors now that he is home. Hopefully I will be able to get him to complete his homework later and not send him right back into a mood.
OK so back to our regular scheduled blog...
Tomorrow I am going to a meeting to learn about a possible new program that may solve all our problems ( yeah, yeah, I know.. .TGTBT right??). Well hey, at this point, I will try just about anything within reason if it will help him succeed and get better. I will go into detail about the program tomorrow after the info meeting. A friend of mine is going with me so hopefully we aren't being scammed or suckered into anything.. But we'll see so stay tuned. If this works, it could mean no more med's and it could give us the answers to a lot of unanswered questions.
I've also been trying to get him to start showing some interest in some school or after school programs, we've been talking a lot about choir and I would like to see him join this and try it out. So far, no such luck. Also, there has not been any after school programs that he's shown an interest in either. He uses music a lot to help calm him down and he lives to sing and listen to music. I think it would be really good for him. But yes, I know, it's ultimately his decision and whatever he decides, I will stand behind.
Having the support system that I do in my family & friends (well some of them anyways) is really important to me. However, having a support system of people who are in the same boat that I am has been a godsend. Knowing that they go through the same thing I do, feel the same pains I feel has helped me a lot. For the longest time I felt I was the only one. There is a Yahoo group for Indiana Bipolar Parents and there are emails on a daily basis from parents asking the group questions about med's, doctor recommendations, behavior modification and just about anything and everything. I also get regular emails on both ADHD and Bipolar on a daily basis. There is even a Facebook page for Parents of Bipolar Children (& comorbid diagnoses).
Amazon.com, Borders/Barnes & Noble and the local Library are all great resources for books on Bipolar Disorder as well.
Thanks to all of these outlets, I feel more comfortable with being the parent of a child who has Bipolar Disorder. I don't feel alone anymore and I am starting to get a handle on how to be an effective parent to him as well. I am still learning where to draw that fine line between walking on eggshells so he doesn't get upset and keeping that strong firm hand as a parent to punish him when things don't go his way. Also, I had to learn when to punish him and what to punish him for. You cannot punish a bipolar child in the middle of a rage. That usually just makes things worse. If you don't punish at all, well then they just get to the point where they feel they rule the roost and can get away with anything because you are afraid to punish them for fear it will cause another rage. Sometimes I feel bad for punishing him after he is able to come out of a rage on his own. Thats a huge accomplishment for a child like him. "Hey kiddo, great job on pulling yourself out of that.. oh and by the way you're grounded from tv for the next week." Not always an easy thing to do.. but each day I am learning. I am proud that he has had so many good days lately and that he has been doing so well in school. I can handle one bad afternoon out of 10!!! It used to be the other way around. He is making progress and growing up. Do I expect miracles from him? Nope. I know there will be bad days. It's inevitable. But what is important is that we both know how to handle them when they happen.
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