Well here it is, the day before school starts. The last day of summer! We met Jake's new teachers yesterday and we both love them. I'm glad we have one more year with his ED teacher Mr. G. He has been one of the best things to ever happen to my son. I don't know what I will do without him in Jr High. He will definitely be one of those teachers J and I both will remember for a long time. I had the IEP case conference this morning and thought it went pretty well. I am happy and breathing easy for the year to come (so far anyways). His homeroom and his ED teacher both seem like they really want him to succeed and will do what they can to help him out! I think we are very lucky to be a part of this awesome team he will be on this year!
So with that being said, time to cover the other stuff.. You know the good with the bad.
Summer! For most kids and families it means trips out of town, visiting the beach, water or amusement parks. For my son, however, he's not a big fan of summer (except for the whole being out of school thing). We only got to do one over night trip and it even got rained out & cut short. He did get to spend time at the pool a lot but he spent most of his time at home with a sitter. When he wasn't spending his days at the stress center of course.. 2 out of his 3 months off, were spent in St. Vincents. I guess as a parent though, I am glad it was in the summer and not during school but Jake does not share my feelings on this one. Not only did he spend half of his summer there but we also had some pretty severe health issues that hindered us from doing things we wanted to do, even though we sometimes tried anyways. He didn't spend his days riding his bike in the neighborhood with friends, he wasn't invited to sleep overs or camp outs, and spent time at the pool playing with me or Nana. He would make the occasional friend at the pool and have someone to play with for awhile but that was about it. He spent some time with a couple neighborhood boys but not very much.
One of the questions, his ED teacher asked me today was what my expectations are for this year and of course, I said I wanted him to be more social, make more friends and be able to keep them. To have the life a "normal" 6Th grader has, hanging out with friends, being invited to sleepovers, birthday parties and to have the chances and opportunities that he so deserves. To be involved in sports or after school clubs/activities, to feel like he is a part of something, to feel like he belongs. I have so much hope and faith that my child will grow up into a wonderful, successful, smart, well adjusted adult. But I want him to have those childhood memories that involve friends, not just all the time he spent with me and the things we did. So much of my childhood memories are of spending time with friends in the summer, the slumber parties, the school projects we had to partner up for. Plus I am still friends with people I was friends with when I was 12 years old.
I found out today that kids were making fun of him last year for something and also that a mom intervened and dis-invited him to a party that a classmate had told him about then later said he couldn't come. Because the mother didn't want him there.. However, the kid was in Jake's ED class so that just made me feel worse, since her son has ED issues as well. But, as a parent, I guess we have to deal with ignorance and stupidity. I just never expected it from a parent who has a child with similar issues like my son. Those are supposed to be the one's who understand, who give a chance, who know how to handle the kids. Oh well. I hope Jake never has to know these things but I'm sure I can't shield him from it forever.
Sometimes, I love the way my son looks at the world, I love his imagination, and I love his determination. However, sometimes, these exact things are also what get him in trouble.
I would love to have a bigger and stronger support system for him that involved more strong and positive male role models but sadly I don't. I need that for both of us. Oh well, that's a story for another day I guess.
Still doing a lot of reading and research on the whole ODD possibility and really focusing more on behaviors and things and not diagnoses. We will find what works for us and stick with it. Make changes and adapt as necessary and do what we both can to make sure that he gets that "normal" childhood.
Good luck to my friends out there who know what this is like. To hear these same stories from you kid or their teacher, to feel the way we do. Stay strong, stay positive and speak up for your child when no one else will. You are their strongest supported and biggest advocate! You know what's best even though other people always feel like they know more than you do because of the position's they are in!
(started a second blog that is not so much all things bipolar all the time.. this one is about my other passion.. so check it out if ya want.. http://musicislifekw.blogspot.com/)
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