Sorry for slacking on the blog posts this past week. It's been a little crazy/hectic around here. I had been bragging for weeks how well he was doing and that we hadn't had any issues, outbursts or anything, then the bottom dropped out. Well ok, not quite that dramatic but still. In the life of Bipolar it just seems to fit right? After Labor Day weekend, his first day back to school we started having trouble with him falling asleep in class. It caused an issue when they tried to wake him up to actually participate in class and do his work. Shocking, I know! Well, after the agitation and outburst, we ended up with a teacher with a broken toe and 2 days of In School Suspension. On day 2 of ISS, he slept all morning and when he woke up refused to do work. When they wouldn't let him have lunch until he did some of his work, outburst ensued and Mom was called. In School Suspention just turned into a day and a half of Out of school suspension. We called the doctor to discuss meds and to see about altering the times and dosages. We decided to try and go without the melatonin. It worked until Sunday night. We had a great rest of the day on Thurday, and the weekend he was great. Sunday night, he barely slept at all, and against my better Mommy judgement, I sent him to school. What was I supposed to do? Call him in and tell them he was too tired to come to school? School said I did the right thing by sending him, but called me an hour later and had me come get him AGAIN. This time they had to call the school cop for assistance. It took 45 minutes after I got there for him to calm down enough for me to take him home. He had to go into the quiet room and was trying to hurt himself so we had to restrain him. I don't know about your kids, but restraining mine is the WORST thing you could do to him in his eyes. He FLIPS out and goes all kinds of crazy mental. Screams, cries, cusses, kicks, bites or whatever else he can do and try and get free. It's the worst thing as a mother to see him go through that but I know it's for his own safety as well as anyone around him. Of course, I was trying to keep it together but by this time I was crying too. I just wanted to protect him, and get him home. The school cop was nice enough to follow us home to make sure he remained calm and then even talked to him for a bit once we got home.
Over the past 2 days, I have been working on his school work with him that they sent home for him to do. I discovered 2 things. I could never be an elementary school teacher and I could never home school. He seems to think that he can't do any work unless I am right there at the table keeping him focused and helping him. He definately doesn't need my help with the work, he just doesn't want to do it.
Also, in times like this, I never know exactly what to do or how to handle the situation. Do I punish him for being suspended or is that punishment enough? Do I revoke privledges? How long? This series of outbursts is because of medications, I believe, so as we are adjusting them, is it his fault somewhat? To what extent? I struggle with this soo much and really just can't seem to find the right answers to this one. Do you punish a child because his mental state is so messed up he doesn't always make the right choices? how much of this can he really control? Is it his fault? Does the punishment really fit the crime? Does it work? Is it effective? How can I punish him and not get him so worked up that it causes another outburst? Once he's calmed down, do I punish him for something he did 2 hours ago and was able to calm himself down, on his own? Or do I reward that part? I don't like what you did, but the fact that you controlled it and came out of it, well thats something, right???
I know that HE is the one who really struggles with the Bipolar but I really am convinced that the parents have their own struggle/fight aside from the one the child deals with constantly. Sometimes I feel like I need a medication for being the mother of a Bipolar Child, or therapy for how to deal with a bipolar child/parenting a bipolar child while he gets therapy as well. This illness doens't just effect the person who has it. Sometimes I wonder why God chose me to be Jakes mom but then I realize that he must have had enough faith in me to know that I could handle it. He knew that Jake needed me. I am proud to be his mom and would not trade him or the life we live for anything else in the world.
We are still to the point where we have more good times than bad, which is a total 180 from a few years ago. He is a brilliant child who is loving, caring and super sweet. He is helpful (when he wants to be of course) and still manages to surprise and amaze me with the things he does on occasion without ever being asked.
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