Uggghhhh! I know it's all part of the territory and this is nothing that any of us are none to familiar with when raising a bipolar child. Good weeks, bad weeks, relapses, stability, calm. And as always, the medicine dilemma.. So here is how things have been.. About 2 weeks ago we weened off the invega due to the weight gain. The pdoc wanted to put him on Zoloft or Prozac in it's place ad I was leery of it. First week with no invega was great, didn't adjust other meds or add in any new ones.. Really? Could this work? Trileptol is rumored to work better when paired but I thought maybe we won't have to, or at the very least, lets up the dosage since he's still on a really low one before we add in a new med. Week 1 passes and week 2 starts, not so hot this week. Soo much trouble at school, plus a little more at home then we've seen in a few months. Craptastic!! Luckily no suspensions from school or trips back to the hospital yet though because I still see some control in him that he didn't have before. He's still able to pull it together and get it under control.. now if we can just work on all that from the beginning. I still see the progress from the last hospital visit and treatment and there's still days when he wants to be in full control ( I don't allow many but we do try on weekends sometimes). He's also very on board with taking control of it, not letting it control him. Show it who's boss, & kick it's ass, we always say!! I'm still so very proud of him and know that he won't let this beat him or that he won't use it as an excuse as he gets older.
He's growing up so fast and soon we will have to deal with puberty and him being a teenager. He's got such a heightened curiosity about things that I am not ready for him to be curious about yet and I'm not sure Mom is the best person to help him through boy puberty stuff, but I'll do the best I can and hope I just don't scar him for life. He knows he can ask me questions about anything he knows not to hide things from me so hopefully as he gets older he will remember that.
He's got a lot of anger for such a young kid and I hope that someday as he grows up, he will either be able to move past it or work through it. Unfortunately, this is a fight I have to watch from the sidelines and can only cheer him on but cannot be his coach. I hate that he has to deal with it as a kid and I know from experience, it's not an easy fight.. But I know he'll come out on top someday and will prevail in it. He may not like how it happens or what he needs to to do get there but I know he will do whats right for him in the end.
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