The proof is in the .. pudding?? No, it's in the emails.

So, we are back to school and summer is basically over. Sigh of relief for being back on a schedule and more of a routine but still holding the breath every time the phone rings hoping it's not school!!
BP kids or any ED kids really have a tough time in school and in turn so do the parents. We fret over case conferences, calls to and from the teacher to discuss things, weekly behavior reports and just about anything else.
So far so good!!! We are into our second full week of school now and so far J has had little to no involvement with his ED teacher except end of the day check In's. He's fully immersed in Gen. Ed classes, eating lunch in the cafeteria, enjoying recess with friends and participating in gym, music and art!
Mind you that we did this last year as well and it lasted until Labor Day then fell apart until ... April! So again with the bated breath, hoping that he makes it past Labor Day this year. Fingers Crossed! Then we take it day by day, week by week.
One thing that is sooo important to have for an ED kid is an awesome team of teachers who is on his side. Moving him from Lawrence township to HSE schools was the BEST decision I EVER made. His ED teacher is amazing and his team of teachers this year is awesome. His homeroom teacher is amazing. She used to be an ED teacher and his current ED teacher had him placed on her team on purpose.
We had our first issue with one of the teachers last night due to an over excessive amount of homework sent home. OK- my kid can't focus on anything for more than 5 seconds and has the attention span of a fruit fly!!! (It's OK, he knows this!) The teacher sent home over 50 math problems for him to do.
As ED parents we also HATE homework time but when it takes over 2 hours, it's just UGLY. They get cranky, we get cranky. Things get ugly, he gets upset, feels like a failure, blah blah blah.. So we finally got through as much of it as we could- after 9 million distraction's and 48 blow ups over him not knowing how to do it because the teacher didn't explain it. Not to mention the 72 times he told me I didn't know what I was doing and I don't know match so I can't help him!!
I emailed his ED teacher and asked for HELP!!!!

Here is a copy of the email.. (from the most recent teacher response to my initial email down at the bottom)


He did not come see me, and he did go and speak with Mr. Gray. very responsible of him. I'm proud!

Geoff Godbout
Fall Creek Intermediate School
Special Education ED Resource Teacher

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kristi Wilkerson Sent: Tuesday, August 30, 2011 8:12 AM
To: Godbout, Geoffrey
Subject: RE: homework


He actually told me this morning that he wasn't going to come down to your room and was just going to try and talk to Mr. Gray directly about the one's he didn't finish!!! Thanks for talking to his teachers and hopefully that will help out for awhile and not cause issues. I'm really proud of him as well and hope that we continue! :)

--- On Tue, 8/30/11, Godbout, Geoffrey wrote:


From: Godbout, Geoffrey Subject: RE: homework
To: "'Kristi Wilkerson'"
Date: Tuesday, August 30, 2011, 8:00 AM


I spoke with his homeroom teacher as well as his math teacher, and yes, he can continue with reduced homework assignments. Mr. Gray apologized and will work with Jake to reduce the number of problems he has to do for homework. He will either give Jake evens, odds, or select questions from the assigned homework each night.
I am proud that he did complete his writing and most of his math assignment, and with only some grouchy attitude. I'm even more excited that he is excited about coming to school and being out in general education classes. I hope this enthusiasm continues. Today is day 10! We are 1/18 of the way to summer break! I am very proud of Jake's progress thus far this year, and will continue to give praise and encouragement for his efforts. Keep it up.

Thank you for communicating your concerns and please feel free to let me know if anything else arises.

Geoff Godbout
Fall Creek Intermediate School
Special Education ED Resource Teacher

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From: Kristi Wilkerson
Sent: Monday, August 29, 2011 8:03 PM
To: Godbout, Geoffrey
Subject: homework


Hey, I don't want to start anything with his teachers this early in the year but homework tonight was a little out of hand.. He had over 40 math problems. We spent well over 2 hours tonight on everything (most of it being math). From last year, he was not used to having that many problems. I know there is more work in 6Th but it's just barely the 2ND full week of school. He has been horrible ever since he finished his homework tonight and just plain nasty. He needs help on a handful of them but he did try to do them all at least. Is there anyway, he can do half of the work or a reduced amount like he did last year? Or is that only allowed when he is in your room?
He is planning on spending some time with you in the morning I believe to go over some of the ones he wasn't able to do. I know a lot of it was after a certain point he didn't even want to try and I did have to help him on most of them.
I don't know if there was any time in class to work on them or if he chose to do something besides homework in TE time ( which knowing him, I'm sure he did).
He also told me his math teacher won't even grade papers unless work is shown, said it was an automatic 0? I'm sure he's exaggerating a bit but you know how much of a perfectionist he is and he's so scared he's going to fail.
Any suggestions on how we can make this a little easier- at least for awhile until he gets used to it all again, I know it's review but I'm worried it will get worse when it's new stuff. He didn't complain once about the language arts writing assignment though!! :)

He does not know I am writing you about this. He told me awhile ago that he actually wanted to go to school today!!! I was shocked.. He's so happy he's in regular classes and doing so well. He's been playing after school with kids in the neighborhood and doing well with that too!!! I was even worried how he would do today after our night last night and he had a good day (from what I heard anyways). We are off to such a great start, I just want to do whatever I can to keep it that way as long as possible but not make it too easy for him that he doesn't have to work for it..

Thanks again for everything and I hope we can continue to have an awesome year!!!


Kristi


It's great to see emails from teachers like this. It makes me proud and I feel like my voice is being heard. Not only that but the teachers share my voice and have the same goals and expectations for my kid! I have regular communications with his ED teacher and he always lets me know when Jake does things on a positive note. I don't just hear from him when it's negative! He's also really good about doing the same with Jake. He makes sure Jake knows how proud of him he is. He knows what Jake is capable of and how to handle him and goes about and beyond most teachers in my opinion. He adapted his way of doing things to each one of his students. He knows the same things don't work on everyone and he paid enough attention to me and to Jake to know what works for him. How to get him to succeed and also how to not give into him when he wants things his way!!! He's done some "unconventional" thing's with Jake and you know what, so have I, so I am totally OK with it! Jake's ED teacher from 5Th & 6Th grade is going to probably be one of the few teachers Jake will remember when he's older! I know he's one I will NEVER forget!
I wish everyone out there good luck with school this year. Stand up, speak your mind, communicate with your teachers, have constant contact! There will be bad days. Hopefully there will be a lot of good days! Take everything one day at a time and make sure your kids know how proud you are of them. Even if it's for the smallest of things. Love them. Guide them! Be the best role model you can be! Do not let them miss out on thing's because of their label and don't let schools just stick them somewhere and let them "get by" because they don't care enough to help you or the child thrive!

Back to school

Well here it is, the day before school starts. The last day of summer! We met Jake's new teachers yesterday and we both love them. I'm glad we have one more year with his ED teacher Mr. G. He has been one of the best things to ever happen to my son. I don't know what I will do without him in Jr High. He will definitely be one of those teachers J and I both will remember for a long time. I had the IEP case conference this morning and thought it went pretty well. I am happy and breathing easy for the year to come (so far anyways). His homeroom and his ED teacher both seem like they really want him to succeed and will do what they can to help him out! I think we are very lucky to be a part of this awesome team he will be on this year!
So with that being said, time to cover the other stuff.. You know the good with the bad.
Summer! For most kids and families it means trips out of town, visiting the beach, water or amusement parks. For my son, however, he's not a big fan of summer (except for the whole being out of school thing). We only got to do one over night trip and it even got rained out & cut short. He did get to spend time at the pool a lot but he spent most of his time at home with a sitter. When he wasn't spending his days at the stress center of course.. 2 out of his 3 months off, were spent in St. Vincents. I guess as a parent though, I am glad it was in the summer and not during school but Jake does not share my feelings on this one. Not only did he spend half of his summer there but we also had some pretty severe health issues that hindered us from doing things we wanted to do, even though we sometimes tried anyways. He didn't spend his days riding his bike in the neighborhood with friends, he wasn't invited to sleep overs or camp outs, and spent time at the pool playing with me or Nana. He would make the occasional friend at the pool and have someone to play with for awhile but that was about it. He spent some time with a couple neighborhood boys but not very much.
One of the questions, his ED teacher asked me today was what my expectations are for this year and of course, I said I wanted him to be more social, make more friends and be able to keep them. To have the life a "normal" 6Th grader has, hanging out with friends, being invited to sleepovers, birthday parties and to have the chances and opportunities that he so deserves. To be involved in sports or after school clubs/activities, to feel like he is a part of something, to feel like he belongs. I have so much hope and faith that my child will grow up into a wonderful, successful, smart, well adjusted adult. But I want him to have those childhood memories that involve friends, not just all the time he spent with me and the things we did. So much of my childhood memories are of spending time with friends in the summer, the slumber parties, the school projects we had to partner up for. Plus I am still friends with people I was friends with when I was 12 years old.
I found out today that kids were making fun of him last year for something and also that a mom intervened and dis-invited him to a party that a classmate had told him about then later said he couldn't come. Because the mother didn't want him there.. However, the kid was in Jake's ED class so that just made me feel worse, since her son has ED issues as well. But, as a parent, I guess we have to deal with ignorance and stupidity. I just never expected it from a parent who has a child with similar issues like my son. Those are supposed to be the one's who understand, who give a chance, who know how to handle the kids. Oh well. I hope Jake never has to know these things but I'm sure I can't shield him from it forever.
Sometimes, I love the way my son looks at the world, I love his imagination, and I love his determination. However, sometimes, these exact things are also what get him in trouble.
I would love to have a bigger and stronger support system for him that involved more strong and positive male role models but sadly I don't. I need that for both of us. Oh well, that's a story for another day I guess.
Still doing a lot of reading and research on the whole ODD possibility and really focusing more on behaviors and things and not diagnoses. We will find what works for us and stick with it. Make changes and adapt as necessary and do what we both can to make sure that he gets that "normal" childhood.
Good luck to my friends out there who know what this is like. To hear these same stories from you kid or their teacher, to feel the way we do. Stay strong, stay positive and speak up for your child when no one else will. You are their strongest supported and biggest advocate! You know what's best even though other people always feel like they know more than you do because of the position's they are in!

(started a second blog that is not so much all things bipolar all the time.. this one is about my other passion.. so check it out if ya want.. http://musicislifekw.blogspot.com/)