Looking back at posts over the last 2 months, I see a big difference in my writing. About a month ago, both Jake and I were so close to our breaking points and with no help in sight, started looking for new options for the both of us. 9/30/10 was a huge turning point for us. As it started out with a simple appointment but turned into something so much more serious. Admitting him to St V's Inpatient unit was tough on both of us but it was for the best and we both know that and agree. 5 days in in patient then lead us to about 2 weeks of partial inpatient therapy where he went everyday. Now he is only about 2-3 weeks away from graduating from the program (he currently is in Intensive outpatient, going 3 days a week). I went to see him everyday while he was inpatient, had therapy 3 times a week with him in partial and go once a week with him now in intensive outpatient.
Here is the report almost one month later-
things broken in the house- NONE!
aggressive/physical outburst- NONE!
issues at school- One!
We talk a lot about his time in therapy and he told my mom the other day he was HAPPY! We have not heard that from him in a long time. He has been helpful around the house and doing things without being asked. He cleared the dinner table last Thursday night when we had dinner at my mom's house. He helped me clean out the Garage on Saturday and the kitchen, living room and toy room yesterday. Then he asked me if there was anymore we could do!!! :)
He is doing well with his behavior chart, he loves earning his points and is no longer taking his privileges for granted. He went outside yesterday to play with the neighbor boy for about 30 minutes and there was no issues. He was told a certain time to be home and came home 4 minutes early (this has been a problem for us in the past, coming home later than the time he was given). It had been almost 2 months since he had played with the neighbor kid.
We are still having issues with his sleeping arrangements and getting on the bus in the morning but hey, one step at a time and I know not to put too much pressure on him right now.. All in good time, I guess. He's been writing in a journal and a lot more open to talking about things lately as well. I am so proud of him, he is doing so well. We are still looking at this on a day to day basis and there are days where he still does get a little agitated but it has not escalated. He says a few choice words and them pretty much moves on. He also still is stuck on the I only see things MY way but we talk through things, he tells me I'm pissing him off or nagging him, then we move on.. His teachers have all seen the improvements as well, he is working on his school work in school now and coming home with little or NO homework for the past couple weeks now.
After we graduate from St V's, I hope he is able to keep all of this with him when we move on to one on one therapy outside of the Stress Center. Watching him in family therapy always makes me laugh or smile. He is always the first to raise his hand to speak or volunteer me to.. He used to never want to talk in therapy before or to the doctors and would just shut down or give major attitude. I hope he will be able to keep this with him as well. I know we are not fixed and they we may never be but having Jake back has been wonderful. He is an amazing kid who has so much potential and I have such high hopes for his future. If he is able to keep this up and remain this way, I have no doubt, he will succeed and go far. However, if he doesn't, then we also both know that another hospital visit or more time in St V's can help us again if we loose our way or forget how to use and manage our coping skills as we grow up and encounter different experiences and scenarios.
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Monday, October 25, 2010
Friday, October 15, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Progress Proress Progress
As I sit here and plan out today's blog, I do it with a smile on my face and the feeling of how easy it is to breathe these days. As most of you know, on 9/30 Jake was admitted into the Stress Center's Inpatient Youth Unit for 5 days. I blogged about his time there in my last blog and now it's time to update you about his time in Partial Inpatient Therapy (PIT). He started that on 10/1 and gets to graduate to Intensive Out Patient (IOP) TOMORROW :).
During his time at PIT, he has learned more about how to use coping skills and when to apply them. He is in this program with a few other boys and it intermingles with the IOP kids as well. PIT was every day from 1-5. So he went to school half day then spent the rest of his day in PIT. PIT also involved 3 days of Family therapy sessions a week. The family therapy sessions have gone really well. Jake was always the first one to speak up when asked "Who wants to go first?" Jake NEVER used to talk about his problems especially with strangers and most of the time even me! He always answered their questions with good answers. He has been great at home as well. He's been pleasant, helpful and respectful. He has even offered a few times to do things that he was not asked to do. Things like this used to get a big refusal or a "No way in Hell" out of him. and asking him to help out around the house was like asking him to comb the desert with a comb based on the way he would react to the request. ( Yes I now know that my problem was that I was asking!!!) However.... We created a behavior plan and a contract and it's posted in the kitchen and he earns points by doing things each day to earn privileges now (things which before he thought were just OWED to him!) He doesn't fight me when he doesn't have enough points for something or only has to choose 1 thing instead of 3 at a time.
The past 2 mornings he got up early, got himself up and dressed and ready. He did all his chores WITHOUT being asked and today chose toys over TV time and didn't get upset when I turned on the news and he wasn't able to have toys and TV at the same time.
ALSO for the past 3 days he has only had homework on one of them. He is doing his work IN SCHOOL!!! His teacher commented today how pleasant it was to have him like this in class. I am so proud of his progress and I know he's working really hard. By no means do I feel like this is over or that he is "fixed." But for now, we will take what we can get and hope it lasts longer this time. He was hospitalized once before through a different hospital but they didn't do any thing as extensive as this program with the stepping down through the programs. I really like that he was given this gradual decrease but still had the access to the staff and meetings and groups. He is so happy with himself to and that in itself makes me a very happy mom! I can't tell him enough how proud I am of him but I sure keep trying to!!
We have met some pretty amazing people while we have been involved in these programs and hearing the stories and struggles from other parents in different stages of their child's "issues" has been heartwarming, sad, aggravating and promising all at the same time. There is a wide variety of kids by age, anger/behavior issues, diagnoses and the length of time the symptoms have been present. There are people who divorced because of their child's issues, and a few people who are on the brink of that. We all share stories and advice and talk to each other and offer support and encouragement and both Jake and I leave there feeling good every time. There are people out there with answers. People who live this every day, people who struggle with the same things I do. I felt so alone for so many years in all of this. I don't feel that way anymore. I also think that Jake doesn't either and again that makes me very proud of him.
We are getting close to the teen years so I hope he's able to keep with him what he has learned during this time and that the teenage hormones don't kick him into overdrive and set him backwards in his fight to control this. There are some really sad stories about kids out there, it breaks my heart each time I see one but in the back if my mind I always have to quietly say to myself, "Please God, don't let that be my child someday." In my mind I like to think that my kid will beat the odds and be one of those people who suffer from Bipolar/mood disorders and go on to become someone famous or discover the cure for something or a new theory to help us determine xxxx... It's amazing to read about actors, artists, entrepreneurs, musicians, politicians, scientists, and sports figures have all overcame this and moved on to do great things. I can want that for my child too. Right??
During his time at PIT, he has learned more about how to use coping skills and when to apply them. He is in this program with a few other boys and it intermingles with the IOP kids as well. PIT was every day from 1-5. So he went to school half day then spent the rest of his day in PIT. PIT also involved 3 days of Family therapy sessions a week. The family therapy sessions have gone really well. Jake was always the first one to speak up when asked "Who wants to go first?" Jake NEVER used to talk about his problems especially with strangers and most of the time even me! He always answered their questions with good answers. He has been great at home as well. He's been pleasant, helpful and respectful. He has even offered a few times to do things that he was not asked to do. Things like this used to get a big refusal or a "No way in Hell" out of him. and asking him to help out around the house was like asking him to comb the desert with a comb based on the way he would react to the request. ( Yes I now know that my problem was that I was asking!!!) However.... We created a behavior plan and a contract and it's posted in the kitchen and he earns points by doing things each day to earn privileges now (things which before he thought were just OWED to him!) He doesn't fight me when he doesn't have enough points for something or only has to choose 1 thing instead of 3 at a time.
The past 2 mornings he got up early, got himself up and dressed and ready. He did all his chores WITHOUT being asked and today chose toys over TV time and didn't get upset when I turned on the news and he wasn't able to have toys and TV at the same time.
ALSO for the past 3 days he has only had homework on one of them. He is doing his work IN SCHOOL!!! His teacher commented today how pleasant it was to have him like this in class. I am so proud of his progress and I know he's working really hard. By no means do I feel like this is over or that he is "fixed." But for now, we will take what we can get and hope it lasts longer this time. He was hospitalized once before through a different hospital but they didn't do any thing as extensive as this program with the stepping down through the programs. I really like that he was given this gradual decrease but still had the access to the staff and meetings and groups. He is so happy with himself to and that in itself makes me a very happy mom! I can't tell him enough how proud I am of him but I sure keep trying to!!
We have met some pretty amazing people while we have been involved in these programs and hearing the stories and struggles from other parents in different stages of their child's "issues" has been heartwarming, sad, aggravating and promising all at the same time. There is a wide variety of kids by age, anger/behavior issues, diagnoses and the length of time the symptoms have been present. There are people who divorced because of their child's issues, and a few people who are on the brink of that. We all share stories and advice and talk to each other and offer support and encouragement and both Jake and I leave there feeling good every time. There are people out there with answers. People who live this every day, people who struggle with the same things I do. I felt so alone for so many years in all of this. I don't feel that way anymore. I also think that Jake doesn't either and again that makes me very proud of him.
We are getting close to the teen years so I hope he's able to keep with him what he has learned during this time and that the teenage hormones don't kick him into overdrive and set him backwards in his fight to control this. There are some really sad stories about kids out there, it breaks my heart each time I see one but in the back if my mind I always have to quietly say to myself, "Please God, don't let that be my child someday." In my mind I like to think that my kid will beat the odds and be one of those people who suffer from Bipolar/mood disorders and go on to become someone famous or discover the cure for something or a new theory to help us determine xxxx... It's amazing to read about actors, artists, entrepreneurs, musicians, politicians, scientists, and sports figures have all overcame this and moved on to do great things. I can want that for my child too. Right??
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Road Ahead
Sorry I didn't update over the weekend. So here's the quick catch up. Jake was admitted on Thursday to St Vincent Stress Center. I was able to visit him every day. On Sunday night we had a parent group meeting with all the parents who had kids on the unit. Our visits were really nice and pleasant. We talked a lot and played Uno and Connect 4. He really connected with a few of the kids and I was happy to see that they would include him in their activities. Monday- we had the family meeting with his dad and he was able to come home that evening. :)
Last night at home was nice, we played Uno (with a new deck I bought him). Today was his first day back at school but he only goes half day for the rest of the week. From 1-5 he is back at the Stress Center for Partial In-Patient therapy. He did well at school today and said he enjoyed group tonight. I couldn't go to parent meeting tonight so his Nana went with him but I will go to the next 2 this week. I know we have a long road ahead of us. If he does well in Partial this week, he can go into the Intensive Outpatient program next week. Which will be 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. He will work on his coping skills and anger issues and behavior. We have to put together a couple of "plans" and contracts for us both to work on and follow at home and school. I have to write in a journal 2x a day in the am and pm to report his day for him to take to the therapist during Partial. He is also writing in a journal. Even if it's only one sentence, it's still writing.
I am starting to put myself back out into the social public but still being very low key on where Jake was and who I'm talking too. I am proud of him and what he has had to go through lately. He has handled it very well and is doing pretty well so far. I know he's not fixed and this is not over but hopefully this time with the extra time in Partial and Intensive Out Patient, the continued help he will be getting will be really beneficial for him. We both need to make some changes and be able to help each other.
I know that I need to stay strong and in control and calm and that I need to rely on my friends but most of them just really don't understand. I know they are there for me and supportive and that's important. But I just can't talk about some of this stuff with many people. I do have a few people who I can talk to about it, who don't judge, offer opinions or suggestions. I am grateful for that. I am working on it but it's going to take me awhile. I am happy that I have this blog and my outlets for the Bipolar parents.
Last night at home was nice, we played Uno (with a new deck I bought him). Today was his first day back at school but he only goes half day for the rest of the week. From 1-5 he is back at the Stress Center for Partial In-Patient therapy. He did well at school today and said he enjoyed group tonight. I couldn't go to parent meeting tonight so his Nana went with him but I will go to the next 2 this week. I know we have a long road ahead of us. If he does well in Partial this week, he can go into the Intensive Outpatient program next week. Which will be 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. He will work on his coping skills and anger issues and behavior. We have to put together a couple of "plans" and contracts for us both to work on and follow at home and school. I have to write in a journal 2x a day in the am and pm to report his day for him to take to the therapist during Partial. He is also writing in a journal. Even if it's only one sentence, it's still writing.
I am starting to put myself back out into the social public but still being very low key on where Jake was and who I'm talking too. I am proud of him and what he has had to go through lately. He has handled it very well and is doing pretty well so far. I know he's not fixed and this is not over but hopefully this time with the extra time in Partial and Intensive Out Patient, the continued help he will be getting will be really beneficial for him. We both need to make some changes and be able to help each other.
I know that I need to stay strong and in control and calm and that I need to rely on my friends but most of them just really don't understand. I know they are there for me and supportive and that's important. But I just can't talk about some of this stuff with many people. I do have a few people who I can talk to about it, who don't judge, offer opinions or suggestions. I am grateful for that. I am working on it but it's going to take me awhile. I am happy that I have this blog and my outlets for the Bipolar parents.
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