Wanted to do some sharing today of some really helpful resources I use or that I have come across. Today's resources are all available online.
The biggest one I want to share is http://www.bpkids.org/ for CABF- Child & Adolescent Bipolar Foundation. They are a wonderful website full of resources, educational materials, support groups, chat rooms and a family response team. I am a chat room moderator and a member of the FRT. They are also involved in the Pepsi Refresh Project currently in the running for a $250 grant. There are over 5 million U.S. youth who live with depression or bipolar disorder. Unfortunately, a very small percentage receive treatment. CABF will use the grant from Pepsi to raise public awareness and help more youth who suffer from depression or bipolar disorder. Please visit the site and remember to vote. We have 2 weeks left and are already up to 5th place. There are 3 ways to vote every day.
Another great site for behavior charts which is very effective and helpful for these kids is http://handipoints.com/printable-chart/. You can print off charts for the kids to earn stickers or behavior points, etc. They also have charts for Chore's, Studying, Fitness, Hygiene,Health to help motivate them.
Here is a website with a Crisis Contract that you can complete online or print out and complete http://mindyourmind.ca/toolbox/self-management/coping-kit.
This is good for the child to have something in writing so they know consequences for behaviors and also coping skills to avoid them.
This is a local (Indiana) resource but it could be useful if you want to check it out. http://www.aboutspecialkids.org/Default.aspx. They are a good place for resources and they offer training courses.
WrightsLaw is a wonderful resource and from the website you can narrow it to your state. http://www.yellowpagesforkids.com/help/ptis.htm On this site you will be able to find Directory of Parent Training and Information Centers (PTI) and Community Parent Resource Centers (CPRC). This is a good resource for education and advocacy.
Another one affiliated with WrightsLaw and advocacy is http://www.wrightslaw.com/info/advo.index.htm. This one lays out all of the things a parent needs to know about being an advocate for their child.
Another one for steps to become a parent advocate for your child is http://specialed.about.com/od/iep/a/advocat.htm.
The Complete IEP Guide: How to Advocate for Your Special Ed Child can be found at http://www.thefreelibrary.com/The+Complete+IEP+Guide%3a+How+to+Advocate+for+Your+Special+Ed+Child.-a059644182
I don't know how many Facebookers we have out there.. but on Facebook some of my favorite pages for bipolar kids are: CABF,Empowering Parents, Parents of Bipolar Children and Comorbid diseases, life with a bipolar child, Bipolar Awareness- Stop the Stigma, NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness). Also I did find one for the kids to join as well.. Children dealing with Bipolar with the family unit. This page was created to help guide and support children dealing with bipolar within the family to give the kids somewhere to rant and rave about dealing with Bipolar.
But since the kid is home sick today and now asking for Mommy, it's time to sign off.. Hopefully, this list will get you started and I will add more later from books or other resources. If there is anything you would like more info or anything you need further research one just let me know!
Good Luck & stay tuned.
I had hoped the links would appear so that you could click on them but for some reason they didn't. So if you have trouble accessing them let me know and I will get the information to you another way.
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
Graduation Day & Bx Detox
Well we did it!!! OK so HE did it!! After 5 days in patient and 4 weeks with partial inpatient to intensive outpatient therapy and he graduated today.. I am soo proud of him!!! Yes I cried during his little ceremony. He picked out a prize and everyone went around the circle, held the prize and said something nice/positive about Jake. He is so happy too, it's so nice to actually hear him tell me that and I can see it in his face. I am hoping he will be able to maintain and keep up on all the things he's learned without the help of group therapy 3 days a week. Being around people who understand him, who know what he's been through. I know that this whole thing is far from over and this is just a "band-aide" but I reallt hope this one sticks for swhile. This is our seond trip to the hospital in 3 years and we are only a few years away from those "teen" years. We are not afraid of the hospital anymore and know it's there for us whenever we need it. We are meeting with 2 differnt therapists over the next few weeks to see which one is a better fit for him now that he is going to move on to 1 on 1 therapy. I am hopeful we can find a support group for him since he did sooooo well in the group dynamic. He's never been a big fan of the 1 on 1. Even if this one meets once a month or so and is for the whole family, that would work too.
As I was driving to pick him up from his last group session today from St Vincent Stress Center another one of my brilliant save the world ideas popped into my head. Too bad that this is not treated a little more like they treat alcoholism. You go thru the program and everything, go thru detox-- which he did.. a major behvior detox!! So my thinking to this was.. he needs a sponsor. Someone he can call when he's having a bad day, or feels like he wants to break something.. Not only that but he should get a chip for every "behavior free" day..(He would have his 30 day chip currently!!!) He made some good friends in the program and built a trust and a relationship with them.. and won't ever get to see them again. He barely has any friends as it is.. and especially none who really "get" him.. I know it's the hospital policy but it still kinda stinks..
So now begins the real test for him. I have faith in him and know he's going to try really hard and I will continue to do everything I can to help him, get myself educated more so I can arm him with everything possible. I am looking into advocacy classes, and I have put in an application to volunteer with CABF and I am waiting on a call to see if I can be on their Family Response Team. I have been pretty active on one of the CABF support groups recently and it's a great bunch of people. OH and I did find a facebook page for bipolar kids so I am hoping he will get involved in that too!
As I was driving to pick him up from his last group session today from St Vincent Stress Center another one of my brilliant save the world ideas popped into my head. Too bad that this is not treated a little more like they treat alcoholism. You go thru the program and everything, go thru detox-- which he did.. a major behvior detox!! So my thinking to this was.. he needs a sponsor. Someone he can call when he's having a bad day, or feels like he wants to break something.. Not only that but he should get a chip for every "behavior free" day..(He would have his 30 day chip currently!!!) He made some good friends in the program and built a trust and a relationship with them.. and won't ever get to see them again. He barely has any friends as it is.. and especially none who really "get" him.. I know it's the hospital policy but it still kinda stinks..
So now begins the real test for him. I have faith in him and know he's going to try really hard and I will continue to do everything I can to help him, get myself educated more so I can arm him with everything possible. I am looking into advocacy classes, and I have put in an application to volunteer with CABF and I am waiting on a call to see if I can be on their Family Response Team. I have been pretty active on one of the CABF support groups recently and it's a great bunch of people. OH and I did find a facebook page for bipolar kids so I am hoping he will get involved in that too!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
One week til Graduation & The Pepsi Refresh Project
October is over and behind us. November is in full swing. We are one week away from graduating from the program at St Vincent's which we have been in since 9/30/10. To date, we have still not had any major blow ups, destroyed property or massive arguments. So Yippeee there!!! He will start one on one therapy about 2 weeks after he graduates so we will see how that goes. I really liked the group dynamic and I think he did to. He was always quick to participate and always wanted to offer up an answer or a suggestion. Plus we really got a lot out of the family therapy sessions as well. I am trying to find a group for him to be a part of after he graduates, even if they only meet once or twice a month. If I can't find one, maybe I'll figure out how to start one.. Which leads me to today's topics... Advocating and Educating. As parents of Bipolar/Mood Disorder kids, we struggle a lot with these issues between school, doctors, friends, family and just about any where else.
It has recently become clear to me on so many levels that both education and advocacy for this is very poor. Schools are not as well equipped as we like them to be, medical facilities for some reason are not all on the same page when it comes to it, and general public is pretty much just clueless.
If a child requires a long term care or a permanent residential type treatment, many families have to ship kids out of state, giving up pretty much any time of seeing their children unless they can afford weekend trips and a secondary place to stay while visiting. Which most of us cannot. Money is a huge factor as well, we can;t afford the insane costs of the doctor visits, which most of them need at least 2-4 times a month and lets not even forget the costs of the meds. Most kids are on a cocktail which can consist of 2-3 meds at a time, each one costing a few hundred dollars. Most insurance plans are not great with mental health. There are not many providers in this area and some parents will drive 2-3 hours to a doctor. This can take a toll on several things. Parent's jobs, relationships with a spouse or other children, and even friendships.
It is still a dream of mine to figure out a way to bring as much of this as close to home as I can. These kids need an environment they are comfortable in with teachers,care givers who are educated. We need to not have to drive several hours or ship our kids out of state. We need to not have to file bankruptcy in order to make sure our kids have meds and that the medical bills are not going to collections. This may not be a life threatening illness or disease but it is still very important. We have places like the Ronald McDonald House and Riley Hospital for those terminal patients, they offer parents places to stay while their kids are in treatment. Bipolar may not be terminal but it's pretty permanent or at least long term. This is something these kids will have to go through for most of or the rest of their lives. This isn't like a surgery where we take them in, have the procedure done and 4-6 weeks later, we are all better and going on with our lives. There is also very little published research on Pediatric and Adolescent Bipolar Disorder and what is out there is not very concrete. There are doctors out there who feel that you can diagnose this as early as 3 years old while others feel that it absolutely cannot be diagnosed until at least age 13. It's not as cut and dry as Cancer or other terminal or life threatening illnesses. With an illness, pretty much any doctor can look at you, run some tests, say yep you do or no you don't have it, then offer pretty concrete treatment options that will be the same where ever you decide to go for treatment. Yes OK, there are places out there with more extensive options or those places that deal with the clinical trials. I am not saying that Bipolar and Cancer should be looked at the same way or that having one is better or worse than having the other..So don't go getting all up in an uproar. My point is, if you have a broken bone, it gets fixed, if you rupture your appendix, they take it out, if you are diagnosed with Cancer, they put you on a treatment course. If that course doesn't work, they move on to another one. If you feel ill or are showing signs or symptons, they run tests, take Xrays, blood tests, etc. With Bipolar, mood disorders, the testing is primarily a bubble sheet questionairre where you answer questionos based on behaviors, environments, etc. These tests have no concrete intrepretation and depending on the day you fill it out, the outcome of the results could also vary. There is no X ray or blood test that will confirm a person has Bipolar disorder. Meds are also the primary treatment for this and with children, there are very little FDA approved prescription drugs that are approved for children and also meds affect kids differntly so a drug that works wonders on one kid may not work at all on another kid. There is a lot of arguments out there for "natural" or herbal treatments, or holistic approaches. There is not much research out there on this from a reiable source but more and more parents are looking into these to get away from the meds. The meds may work on the behaviors/moods but we end up messing with kidneys, thyroids, massive weight gain or loss or other long term health issues. So it's a vicious cycle and a lot of parents are at a loss on how to properly treat their children for something they may have to live with for the rest of their life.
OK so, as a part of being involved in a couple different parent or support groups, I have learned recently that CABF is competing for $250,000 in grant funding in the Pepsi Refresh Contest. Their main goal right now is to work with the blogger community to help secure funding for bipolar kids through the Pepsi Refresh Contest. So basically each time a blog like mine gets read and voted on, it helps CABF get closer to their goal of winning this grant. Having a grant like that could really help these kids out as well as helping the organization get the word out about advocating and education. I want Jake to be able to feel good about himself and know that what he has is something he can control, not something that can control him. I also want him armed with as much knowledge as he can have. He's only 11 now but soon will be a teenager, then a young adult where I won't always be there to advocate for him. He won't always be in a setting or situation where he will have an aide or where his day is goverened by an IEP.
Here is the actual release from CABF about their entry.
HELP CABF WIN $250,000 From Pepsi
CABF is in the running for a $250,000 grant from the Pepsi Refresh Project this month.
Winning this grant would transform CABF's ability to provide vital information and support services to children and families living with bipolar disorder and depression.
We can't win without you-- and you can help with just one minute every day. Winners are decided by total votes cast by Internet and text message votes throughout the month of November.
Sign up for a daily email voting reminder at http://www.bpkids.org/pepsi
and if CABF wins, a chance to win 1 of 3 iPads.
Vote today, ALL THREE WAYS, and every day in November:
Vote Online: Go to http://www.refresheverything.com/CABFhelpsmorekids. This will take you to the CABF Pepsi voting page. Click "Vote for this Idea". Register once and then you are all set.
Vote on Facebook: http://tiny.cc/cabfhelpsmorekids. The first time you vote via Facebook, you'll be asked for permission to access your information. Click "Allow". This will take you to the Pepsi Refresh Vote & Share application. You will see CABF's project below the search bar. Click "Vote for this Idea". (Be sure to click "share this idea" to encourage your friends to vote for us on Facebook. Do this every time you vote!) If you do not see our project, "type CABF" into the search bar.
Text your Vote: Text 104174 to PEPSI (73774) (Normal text rates apply).
What else can you do to get more votes for CABF?
•Bookmark our voting pages: http://www.refresheverything.com/CABFhelpsmorekids &http://tiny.cc/cabfhelpsmorekids. We need you to vote every day in the month of November. Anyone age 13 or older can vote. (Feel free to vote for other projects as well -- just not for any other projects which are also requesting a $250,000 grant).
•Tell your friends on Facebook by clicking this image: on the right hand column of the CABF voting page.
•FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, along with YOUR PERSONAL MESSAGE asking them to vote for CABF every day. Remember to ask your kids and their friends to vote.
•Print out flyer's and cards which you can give to friends. Hand them out at meetings, sporting events, etc.
Don't think you'll remember every day? No problem! Sign up for daily email reminders for a chance to WIN AN IPAD! If CABF wins the challenge, everyone who registered for a daily email reminder will have a chance to win one of three iPads.
Winning a $250,000 Pepsi Refresh grant would truly transform CABF's ability to provide support, information and hope to thousands more families.
WE NEED YOUR VOTES. REMEMBER - VOTING IS AS EASY AS 1- 2 - 3.
VOTE EVERY DAY, EVERY WAY
So take a minute to go check this out. Help me aide CABF in their quest to win this grant. I am also going to start working on some thing more local based in my community and do whatever I am able to do to get advocacy for my child and education for the public where he is supposed to grow and strive.
It has recently become clear to me on so many levels that both education and advocacy for this is very poor. Schools are not as well equipped as we like them to be, medical facilities for some reason are not all on the same page when it comes to it, and general public is pretty much just clueless.
If a child requires a long term care or a permanent residential type treatment, many families have to ship kids out of state, giving up pretty much any time of seeing their children unless they can afford weekend trips and a secondary place to stay while visiting. Which most of us cannot. Money is a huge factor as well, we can;t afford the insane costs of the doctor visits, which most of them need at least 2-4 times a month and lets not even forget the costs of the meds. Most kids are on a cocktail which can consist of 2-3 meds at a time, each one costing a few hundred dollars. Most insurance plans are not great with mental health. There are not many providers in this area and some parents will drive 2-3 hours to a doctor. This can take a toll on several things. Parent's jobs, relationships with a spouse or other children, and even friendships.
It is still a dream of mine to figure out a way to bring as much of this as close to home as I can. These kids need an environment they are comfortable in with teachers,care givers who are educated. We need to not have to drive several hours or ship our kids out of state. We need to not have to file bankruptcy in order to make sure our kids have meds and that the medical bills are not going to collections. This may not be a life threatening illness or disease but it is still very important. We have places like the Ronald McDonald House and Riley Hospital for those terminal patients, they offer parents places to stay while their kids are in treatment. Bipolar may not be terminal but it's pretty permanent or at least long term. This is something these kids will have to go through for most of or the rest of their lives. This isn't like a surgery where we take them in, have the procedure done and 4-6 weeks later, we are all better and going on with our lives. There is also very little published research on Pediatric and Adolescent Bipolar Disorder and what is out there is not very concrete. There are doctors out there who feel that you can diagnose this as early as 3 years old while others feel that it absolutely cannot be diagnosed until at least age 13. It's not as cut and dry as Cancer or other terminal or life threatening illnesses. With an illness, pretty much any doctor can look at you, run some tests, say yep you do or no you don't have it, then offer pretty concrete treatment options that will be the same where ever you decide to go for treatment. Yes OK, there are places out there with more extensive options or those places that deal with the clinical trials. I am not saying that Bipolar and Cancer should be looked at the same way or that having one is better or worse than having the other..So don't go getting all up in an uproar. My point is, if you have a broken bone, it gets fixed, if you rupture your appendix, they take it out, if you are diagnosed with Cancer, they put you on a treatment course. If that course doesn't work, they move on to another one. If you feel ill or are showing signs or symptons, they run tests, take Xrays, blood tests, etc. With Bipolar, mood disorders, the testing is primarily a bubble sheet questionairre where you answer questionos based on behaviors, environments, etc. These tests have no concrete intrepretation and depending on the day you fill it out, the outcome of the results could also vary. There is no X ray or blood test that will confirm a person has Bipolar disorder. Meds are also the primary treatment for this and with children, there are very little FDA approved prescription drugs that are approved for children and also meds affect kids differntly so a drug that works wonders on one kid may not work at all on another kid. There is a lot of arguments out there for "natural" or herbal treatments, or holistic approaches. There is not much research out there on this from a reiable source but more and more parents are looking into these to get away from the meds. The meds may work on the behaviors/moods but we end up messing with kidneys, thyroids, massive weight gain or loss or other long term health issues. So it's a vicious cycle and a lot of parents are at a loss on how to properly treat their children for something they may have to live with for the rest of their life.
OK so, as a part of being involved in a couple different parent or support groups, I have learned recently that CABF is competing for $250,000 in grant funding in the Pepsi Refresh Contest. Their main goal right now is to work with the blogger community to help secure funding for bipolar kids through the Pepsi Refresh Contest. So basically each time a blog like mine gets read and voted on, it helps CABF get closer to their goal of winning this grant. Having a grant like that could really help these kids out as well as helping the organization get the word out about advocating and education. I want Jake to be able to feel good about himself and know that what he has is something he can control, not something that can control him. I also want him armed with as much knowledge as he can have. He's only 11 now but soon will be a teenager, then a young adult where I won't always be there to advocate for him. He won't always be in a setting or situation where he will have an aide or where his day is goverened by an IEP.
Here is the actual release from CABF about their entry.
HELP CABF WIN $250,000 From Pepsi
CABF is in the running for a $250,000 grant from the Pepsi Refresh Project this month.
Winning this grant would transform CABF's ability to provide vital information and support services to children and families living with bipolar disorder and depression.
We can't win without you-- and you can help with just one minute every day. Winners are decided by total votes cast by Internet and text message votes throughout the month of November.
Sign up for a daily email voting reminder at http://www.bpkids.org/pepsi
and if CABF wins, a chance to win 1 of 3 iPads.
Vote today, ALL THREE WAYS, and every day in November:
Vote Online: Go to http://www.refresheverything.com/CABFhelpsmorekids. This will take you to the CABF Pepsi voting page. Click "Vote for this Idea". Register once and then you are all set.
Vote on Facebook: http://tiny.cc/cabfhelpsmorekids. The first time you vote via Facebook, you'll be asked for permission to access your information. Click "Allow". This will take you to the Pepsi Refresh Vote & Share application. You will see CABF's project below the search bar. Click "Vote for this Idea". (Be sure to click "share this idea" to encourage your friends to vote for us on Facebook. Do this every time you vote!) If you do not see our project, "type CABF" into the search bar.
Text your Vote: Text 104174 to PEPSI (73774) (Normal text rates apply).
What else can you do to get more votes for CABF?
•Bookmark our voting pages: http://www.refresheverything.com/CABFhelpsmorekids &http://tiny.cc/cabfhelpsmorekids. We need you to vote every day in the month of November. Anyone age 13 or older can vote. (Feel free to vote for other projects as well -- just not for any other projects which are also requesting a $250,000 grant).
•Tell your friends on Facebook by clicking this image: on the right hand column of the CABF voting page.
•FORWARD THIS EMAIL TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS, along with YOUR PERSONAL MESSAGE asking them to vote for CABF every day. Remember to ask your kids and their friends to vote.
•Print out flyer's and cards which you can give to friends. Hand them out at meetings, sporting events, etc.
Don't think you'll remember every day? No problem! Sign up for daily email reminders for a chance to WIN AN IPAD! If CABF wins the challenge, everyone who registered for a daily email reminder will have a chance to win one of three iPads.
Winning a $250,000 Pepsi Refresh grant would truly transform CABF's ability to provide support, information and hope to thousands more families.
WE NEED YOUR VOTES. REMEMBER - VOTING IS AS EASY AS 1- 2 - 3.
VOTE EVERY DAY, EVERY WAY
So take a minute to go check this out. Help me aide CABF in their quest to win this grant. I am also going to start working on some thing more local based in my community and do whatever I am able to do to get advocacy for my child and education for the public where he is supposed to grow and strive.
Monday, October 25, 2010
(Almost) One month later
Looking back at posts over the last 2 months, I see a big difference in my writing. About a month ago, both Jake and I were so close to our breaking points and with no help in sight, started looking for new options for the both of us. 9/30/10 was a huge turning point for us. As it started out with a simple appointment but turned into something so much more serious. Admitting him to St V's Inpatient unit was tough on both of us but it was for the best and we both know that and agree. 5 days in in patient then lead us to about 2 weeks of partial inpatient therapy where he went everyday. Now he is only about 2-3 weeks away from graduating from the program (he currently is in Intensive outpatient, going 3 days a week). I went to see him everyday while he was inpatient, had therapy 3 times a week with him in partial and go once a week with him now in intensive outpatient.
Here is the report almost one month later-
things broken in the house- NONE!
aggressive/physical outburst- NONE!
issues at school- One!
We talk a lot about his time in therapy and he told my mom the other day he was HAPPY! We have not heard that from him in a long time. He has been helpful around the house and doing things without being asked. He cleared the dinner table last Thursday night when we had dinner at my mom's house. He helped me clean out the Garage on Saturday and the kitchen, living room and toy room yesterday. Then he asked me if there was anymore we could do!!! :)
He is doing well with his behavior chart, he loves earning his points and is no longer taking his privileges for granted. He went outside yesterday to play with the neighbor boy for about 30 minutes and there was no issues. He was told a certain time to be home and came home 4 minutes early (this has been a problem for us in the past, coming home later than the time he was given). It had been almost 2 months since he had played with the neighbor kid.
We are still having issues with his sleeping arrangements and getting on the bus in the morning but hey, one step at a time and I know not to put too much pressure on him right now.. All in good time, I guess. He's been writing in a journal and a lot more open to talking about things lately as well. I am so proud of him, he is doing so well. We are still looking at this on a day to day basis and there are days where he still does get a little agitated but it has not escalated. He says a few choice words and them pretty much moves on. He also still is stuck on the I only see things MY way but we talk through things, he tells me I'm pissing him off or nagging him, then we move on.. His teachers have all seen the improvements as well, he is working on his school work in school now and coming home with little or NO homework for the past couple weeks now.
After we graduate from St V's, I hope he is able to keep all of this with him when we move on to one on one therapy outside of the Stress Center. Watching him in family therapy always makes me laugh or smile. He is always the first to raise his hand to speak or volunteer me to.. He used to never want to talk in therapy before or to the doctors and would just shut down or give major attitude. I hope he will be able to keep this with him as well. I know we are not fixed and they we may never be but having Jake back has been wonderful. He is an amazing kid who has so much potential and I have such high hopes for his future. If he is able to keep this up and remain this way, I have no doubt, he will succeed and go far. However, if he doesn't, then we also both know that another hospital visit or more time in St V's can help us again if we loose our way or forget how to use and manage our coping skills as we grow up and encounter different experiences and scenarios.
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Here is the report almost one month later-
things broken in the house- NONE!
aggressive/physical outburst- NONE!
issues at school- One!
We talk a lot about his time in therapy and he told my mom the other day he was HAPPY! We have not heard that from him in a long time. He has been helpful around the house and doing things without being asked. He cleared the dinner table last Thursday night when we had dinner at my mom's house. He helped me clean out the Garage on Saturday and the kitchen, living room and toy room yesterday. Then he asked me if there was anymore we could do!!! :)
He is doing well with his behavior chart, he loves earning his points and is no longer taking his privileges for granted. He went outside yesterday to play with the neighbor boy for about 30 minutes and there was no issues. He was told a certain time to be home and came home 4 minutes early (this has been a problem for us in the past, coming home later than the time he was given). It had been almost 2 months since he had played with the neighbor kid.
We are still having issues with his sleeping arrangements and getting on the bus in the morning but hey, one step at a time and I know not to put too much pressure on him right now.. All in good time, I guess. He's been writing in a journal and a lot more open to talking about things lately as well. I am so proud of him, he is doing so well. We are still looking at this on a day to day basis and there are days where he still does get a little agitated but it has not escalated. He says a few choice words and them pretty much moves on. He also still is stuck on the I only see things MY way but we talk through things, he tells me I'm pissing him off or nagging him, then we move on.. His teachers have all seen the improvements as well, he is working on his school work in school now and coming home with little or NO homework for the past couple weeks now.
After we graduate from St V's, I hope he is able to keep all of this with him when we move on to one on one therapy outside of the Stress Center. Watching him in family therapy always makes me laugh or smile. He is always the first to raise his hand to speak or volunteer me to.. He used to never want to talk in therapy before or to the doctors and would just shut down or give major attitude. I hope he will be able to keep this with him as well. I know we are not fixed and they we may never be but having Jake back has been wonderful. He is an amazing kid who has so much potential and I have such high hopes for his future. If he is able to keep this up and remain this way, I have no doubt, he will succeed and go far. However, if he doesn't, then we also both know that another hospital visit or more time in St V's can help us again if we loose our way or forget how to use and manage our coping skills as we grow up and encounter different experiences and scenarios.
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Friday, October 15, 2010
Wednesday, October 13, 2010
Progress Proress Progress
As I sit here and plan out today's blog, I do it with a smile on my face and the feeling of how easy it is to breathe these days. As most of you know, on 9/30 Jake was admitted into the Stress Center's Inpatient Youth Unit for 5 days. I blogged about his time there in my last blog and now it's time to update you about his time in Partial Inpatient Therapy (PIT). He started that on 10/1 and gets to graduate to Intensive Out Patient (IOP) TOMORROW :).
During his time at PIT, he has learned more about how to use coping skills and when to apply them. He is in this program with a few other boys and it intermingles with the IOP kids as well. PIT was every day from 1-5. So he went to school half day then spent the rest of his day in PIT. PIT also involved 3 days of Family therapy sessions a week. The family therapy sessions have gone really well. Jake was always the first one to speak up when asked "Who wants to go first?" Jake NEVER used to talk about his problems especially with strangers and most of the time even me! He always answered their questions with good answers. He has been great at home as well. He's been pleasant, helpful and respectful. He has even offered a few times to do things that he was not asked to do. Things like this used to get a big refusal or a "No way in Hell" out of him. and asking him to help out around the house was like asking him to comb the desert with a comb based on the way he would react to the request. ( Yes I now know that my problem was that I was asking!!!) However.... We created a behavior plan and a contract and it's posted in the kitchen and he earns points by doing things each day to earn privileges now (things which before he thought were just OWED to him!) He doesn't fight me when he doesn't have enough points for something or only has to choose 1 thing instead of 3 at a time.
The past 2 mornings he got up early, got himself up and dressed and ready. He did all his chores WITHOUT being asked and today chose toys over TV time and didn't get upset when I turned on the news and he wasn't able to have toys and TV at the same time.
ALSO for the past 3 days he has only had homework on one of them. He is doing his work IN SCHOOL!!! His teacher commented today how pleasant it was to have him like this in class. I am so proud of his progress and I know he's working really hard. By no means do I feel like this is over or that he is "fixed." But for now, we will take what we can get and hope it lasts longer this time. He was hospitalized once before through a different hospital but they didn't do any thing as extensive as this program with the stepping down through the programs. I really like that he was given this gradual decrease but still had the access to the staff and meetings and groups. He is so happy with himself to and that in itself makes me a very happy mom! I can't tell him enough how proud I am of him but I sure keep trying to!!
We have met some pretty amazing people while we have been involved in these programs and hearing the stories and struggles from other parents in different stages of their child's "issues" has been heartwarming, sad, aggravating and promising all at the same time. There is a wide variety of kids by age, anger/behavior issues, diagnoses and the length of time the symptoms have been present. There are people who divorced because of their child's issues, and a few people who are on the brink of that. We all share stories and advice and talk to each other and offer support and encouragement and both Jake and I leave there feeling good every time. There are people out there with answers. People who live this every day, people who struggle with the same things I do. I felt so alone for so many years in all of this. I don't feel that way anymore. I also think that Jake doesn't either and again that makes me very proud of him.
We are getting close to the teen years so I hope he's able to keep with him what he has learned during this time and that the teenage hormones don't kick him into overdrive and set him backwards in his fight to control this. There are some really sad stories about kids out there, it breaks my heart each time I see one but in the back if my mind I always have to quietly say to myself, "Please God, don't let that be my child someday." In my mind I like to think that my kid will beat the odds and be one of those people who suffer from Bipolar/mood disorders and go on to become someone famous or discover the cure for something or a new theory to help us determine xxxx... It's amazing to read about actors, artists, entrepreneurs, musicians, politicians, scientists, and sports figures have all overcame this and moved on to do great things. I can want that for my child too. Right??
During his time at PIT, he has learned more about how to use coping skills and when to apply them. He is in this program with a few other boys and it intermingles with the IOP kids as well. PIT was every day from 1-5. So he went to school half day then spent the rest of his day in PIT. PIT also involved 3 days of Family therapy sessions a week. The family therapy sessions have gone really well. Jake was always the first one to speak up when asked "Who wants to go first?" Jake NEVER used to talk about his problems especially with strangers and most of the time even me! He always answered their questions with good answers. He has been great at home as well. He's been pleasant, helpful and respectful. He has even offered a few times to do things that he was not asked to do. Things like this used to get a big refusal or a "No way in Hell" out of him. and asking him to help out around the house was like asking him to comb the desert with a comb based on the way he would react to the request. ( Yes I now know that my problem was that I was asking!!!) However.... We created a behavior plan and a contract and it's posted in the kitchen and he earns points by doing things each day to earn privileges now (things which before he thought were just OWED to him!) He doesn't fight me when he doesn't have enough points for something or only has to choose 1 thing instead of 3 at a time.
The past 2 mornings he got up early, got himself up and dressed and ready. He did all his chores WITHOUT being asked and today chose toys over TV time and didn't get upset when I turned on the news and he wasn't able to have toys and TV at the same time.
ALSO for the past 3 days he has only had homework on one of them. He is doing his work IN SCHOOL!!! His teacher commented today how pleasant it was to have him like this in class. I am so proud of his progress and I know he's working really hard. By no means do I feel like this is over or that he is "fixed." But for now, we will take what we can get and hope it lasts longer this time. He was hospitalized once before through a different hospital but they didn't do any thing as extensive as this program with the stepping down through the programs. I really like that he was given this gradual decrease but still had the access to the staff and meetings and groups. He is so happy with himself to and that in itself makes me a very happy mom! I can't tell him enough how proud I am of him but I sure keep trying to!!
We have met some pretty amazing people while we have been involved in these programs and hearing the stories and struggles from other parents in different stages of their child's "issues" has been heartwarming, sad, aggravating and promising all at the same time. There is a wide variety of kids by age, anger/behavior issues, diagnoses and the length of time the symptoms have been present. There are people who divorced because of their child's issues, and a few people who are on the brink of that. We all share stories and advice and talk to each other and offer support and encouragement and both Jake and I leave there feeling good every time. There are people out there with answers. People who live this every day, people who struggle with the same things I do. I felt so alone for so many years in all of this. I don't feel that way anymore. I also think that Jake doesn't either and again that makes me very proud of him.
We are getting close to the teen years so I hope he's able to keep with him what he has learned during this time and that the teenage hormones don't kick him into overdrive and set him backwards in his fight to control this. There are some really sad stories about kids out there, it breaks my heart each time I see one but in the back if my mind I always have to quietly say to myself, "Please God, don't let that be my child someday." In my mind I like to think that my kid will beat the odds and be one of those people who suffer from Bipolar/mood disorders and go on to become someone famous or discover the cure for something or a new theory to help us determine xxxx... It's amazing to read about actors, artists, entrepreneurs, musicians, politicians, scientists, and sports figures have all overcame this and moved on to do great things. I can want that for my child too. Right??
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
The Road Ahead
Sorry I didn't update over the weekend. So here's the quick catch up. Jake was admitted on Thursday to St Vincent Stress Center. I was able to visit him every day. On Sunday night we had a parent group meeting with all the parents who had kids on the unit. Our visits were really nice and pleasant. We talked a lot and played Uno and Connect 4. He really connected with a few of the kids and I was happy to see that they would include him in their activities. Monday- we had the family meeting with his dad and he was able to come home that evening. :)
Last night at home was nice, we played Uno (with a new deck I bought him). Today was his first day back at school but he only goes half day for the rest of the week. From 1-5 he is back at the Stress Center for Partial In-Patient therapy. He did well at school today and said he enjoyed group tonight. I couldn't go to parent meeting tonight so his Nana went with him but I will go to the next 2 this week. I know we have a long road ahead of us. If he does well in Partial this week, he can go into the Intensive Outpatient program next week. Which will be 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. He will work on his coping skills and anger issues and behavior. We have to put together a couple of "plans" and contracts for us both to work on and follow at home and school. I have to write in a journal 2x a day in the am and pm to report his day for him to take to the therapist during Partial. He is also writing in a journal. Even if it's only one sentence, it's still writing.
I am starting to put myself back out into the social public but still being very low key on where Jake was and who I'm talking too. I am proud of him and what he has had to go through lately. He has handled it very well and is doing pretty well so far. I know he's not fixed and this is not over but hopefully this time with the extra time in Partial and Intensive Out Patient, the continued help he will be getting will be really beneficial for him. We both need to make some changes and be able to help each other.
I know that I need to stay strong and in control and calm and that I need to rely on my friends but most of them just really don't understand. I know they are there for me and supportive and that's important. But I just can't talk about some of this stuff with many people. I do have a few people who I can talk to about it, who don't judge, offer opinions or suggestions. I am grateful for that. I am working on it but it's going to take me awhile. I am happy that I have this blog and my outlets for the Bipolar parents.
Last night at home was nice, we played Uno (with a new deck I bought him). Today was his first day back at school but he only goes half day for the rest of the week. From 1-5 he is back at the Stress Center for Partial In-Patient therapy. He did well at school today and said he enjoyed group tonight. I couldn't go to parent meeting tonight so his Nana went with him but I will go to the next 2 this week. I know we have a long road ahead of us. If he does well in Partial this week, he can go into the Intensive Outpatient program next week. Which will be 3 days a week for 3 hours a day. He will work on his coping skills and anger issues and behavior. We have to put together a couple of "plans" and contracts for us both to work on and follow at home and school. I have to write in a journal 2x a day in the am and pm to report his day for him to take to the therapist during Partial. He is also writing in a journal. Even if it's only one sentence, it's still writing.
I am starting to put myself back out into the social public but still being very low key on where Jake was and who I'm talking too. I am proud of him and what he has had to go through lately. He has handled it very well and is doing pretty well so far. I know he's not fixed and this is not over but hopefully this time with the extra time in Partial and Intensive Out Patient, the continued help he will be getting will be really beneficial for him. We both need to make some changes and be able to help each other.
I know that I need to stay strong and in control and calm and that I need to rely on my friends but most of them just really don't understand. I know they are there for me and supportive and that's important. But I just can't talk about some of this stuff with many people. I do have a few people who I can talk to about it, who don't judge, offer opinions or suggestions. I am grateful for that. I am working on it but it's going to take me awhile. I am happy that I have this blog and my outlets for the Bipolar parents.
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